Being a Helpmate for My Husband
I recently saw an Instagram post where the poster (a stay-at-home wife and mother) talked for a few minutes about her marriage. The gist of her message was this: that she is a servant to her husband. She does all she can to make him feel loved; if that means picking up his socks that are on the floor next to the dirty clothes, she does so. Her thinking was that if the world is so weighty on his heart that he missed the hamper, she is going to do her part to lift that burden a bit. And in return, he takes good care of her.
The woman in the above video really spoke to my heart, reminding me to be kinder, gentler, to continue to choose love in every decision/action.
Yes, I often get triggered by those little things she mentioned – the dirty socks, the shirt draped over the chair, the boots thrown in the general direction of the shoe tray, the used dishes in the sink right next to the empty dishwasher.
In this post-feminist country, women are encouraged to be leaders, self-sufficient, independent. I’m not saying that in and of themselves these aren’t good qualities; rather that God gave my husband and I to each other to serve and love each other in our own unique ways, as a team.
God has gifted me with this particular season of life – that of being a full-time homemaker. I’m not naturally inclined to cleaning house, but I’ve made an effort to turn my home into a quieter, gentler place than the outside world. I’m not always in the mood to cook, but I try to have a warm meal for him most every night. I tend to take myself too seriously, but I’m working at being more light-hearted and playful. While the financial trials of this present time are hitting my husband where it counts, his self-esteem – and with me, my sense of security, I’m reminded to bring my fears to my Loving Father, and to encourage and affirm my husband’s considerable efforts in providing for us. I then find myself empowered to gently redirect my heart and his to God’s often subtle yet considerable blessings.
The bible and other friends who are in long-standing marriages have been wonderful in helping me with specific and tangible ways I can help lighten my husband’s burdens. In my search, I came across this article from www.crosswalk.com , called 10 Great Ways Wives Can Serve Their Husbands, by Jennifer Waddle. None of them are actually difficult, they take minimal time to incorporate, and they are all scripturally based. It’s a really great read if you have time.
In the meantime, I listen to God’s whisperings on my heart, I fill my mind with His love, and do my best to act on His promptings every day. In doing so, I’m finding that my own burdens are lightened. When I truly respect and acknowledge my husband, I feel even more seen and loved by him.
Yours faithfully,
Sally